Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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