I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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