we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
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it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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