he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize