Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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