Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
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"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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