we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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