she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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