so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
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Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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