hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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