Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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