There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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