Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize