This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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