he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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