When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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