my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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