So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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