Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize