When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
