I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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