It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
nutella sex= disaster
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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