yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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