Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize