In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize