i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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