Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize