Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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