so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
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U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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