come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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