i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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