that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
