Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize