I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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