If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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