I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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