I seem to have left my pride at pride
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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