his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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