THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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