you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize