Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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