if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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