so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize