Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the raccoons are back...
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