yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize