he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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