Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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