Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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