I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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