Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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